Day 9

Well boys and girls, went to the VA and asked doc about treatment. He had me see my Case Manager. Together we worked out a plan. Now what will happen is that I'll come to the VA once a wk. until a spot opens for me, she said it might take 3-6 wks.I no longer feel like a drowning man

It felt kinda good letting someone, who can really help, what is going on and reinforce what I already know. Only I can stop using. There is no magic pill or anything else that will keep me from using. I have to my mind made up about quitting.  Going to meetings and being around others who don't use will help and most certainly PRAYING will also., but if I'm not ready to quit then I'll be wasting every ones time.

I don't know where I'll in up but where ever it is it'll be a better place than I'm in now.I believe that GOD as something SPECIAL for me , just don't know what it may be.Everyday CAN BE filled with surprises and joy. I know this because that what it was like before. Not that I want my old non-using  life back. There is no such thing in going back, but I can have a fulfilling life. Maybe my daughter and I can get closer or at least see each other soon. Speaking of her I'm going to call her tonight and let her know whats been going on with me.She knows but to tell her is something I must do because she deserves to hear the truth from me about why I haven't been able to be there for her. 

Everyday won't be as above but that doesn't mean it's a wasted day.So until then.See YA