Day 6

Missed posting yesterday, the system here (library) keep going down and I lost what I was writing. Well as it says it's been 6 days and I'm eating everything in the house.Can't sleep without taking my sleeping pills ( mirazapine). Also I take BUSPIRONE--anxiety,plus GABAPENTIN--neuropathic pain.Dope boy came by the other day and I told him NO! Good for me , right? I e-mailed several people I use to workk with and caslled friends about what's going on. Still have not talked to anyone face to face though.That's the test , can I tell another what's going on and that I need help? I could keep going on and on about bullshit but the question keeps coming back to WHAT AM I GIONG TO DO? Well we'll see come Friday when I see my "srink"

Even though this is a pic of the SUNSET. It is peaceful and a reminder that the day is drawing to a close. Still reading in the eveings. Started a new story titled Air Battle Force by Dale Brown, he also wrote the Dreamland series plus many other war type books.What? a pic of peaceful sunset and then talk of war? Yea well that's how I thinkl and write. That make me fucked-up or what?I write what's on my mind and not try and be so PC, ok?I'm scared about the future, Will I breakdown when I get my check and if I do will I still go to treatment when the time comes? Only GOD knows. I pray that I'll stay the course. I feel I should be saying more, but anything else would be just vain words and mean nothing, so why am I still writing? Until tomorrow, Good night