Thursday, March 22, 2012


It's been a couple of days since my last post. There have been new developments in my RECOVERY. Such as coming closer to GOD, better self-image, gain of weight, CONFIDENCE that I CAN stay CLEAN and SOBER. Admitting to myself that this won't be as easy as I was fooling myself to believe. Recovery isn't something that one can just wish for and DOOM there you are. It takes time and effort. Looking at ones self, the inner person, for all addicted persons isn't pretty.We/I have done harm to others but mainly to myself. I relapsed after 8 yrs. CLEAN and sober getting HIGH for 4 yrs. Coming back and seeing people who knew me when I was working a good PROGRAM and now down so far has been humbling. To KNOW that GOD had delivered me from bondage and turn around and get HIGH again is an insult to him and those I may have helped had I NOT gotten HIGH. My day starts about 5:30am, I was going to bed about 6:00 am before treatment, classes start at 8:00am , at the VA. We are housed somewhere different from the hospital.Classes are all day. We leave at 4:15pm and return to our night lodging place.Eat dinner then an AA meeting at 7:00 or 8:00 pm Lights out at 10:00pm, then the day starts all over again.Classes are informative and educational.Got to go now we're making a store run for cigarettes and other junk food type stuff. I miss not being able to go and do as I please but my addiction has , for a short period of time, taken that away from me. Most of all I miss my daily contact with GOD. HE never turned HIS back to me. it was I who turned away. Then there's my daughter, I know she understands but due to my return to drugs again I wasn't there when she needed me to be there.She STILL loves me and for that I'm grateful. lOVE AND graditude.M

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