Thursday, April 12, 2012

Day 38

It hasn't been easy for me not to get high, and yes I've drunk a beer well two that is and that's all. I've been going to AA meetings and have picked a sponsor. Ben he says that I'm full of shit and saying the same things I said last time( 2 yrs ago) well the difference is that I really do want a life and a closeness with GOD.
How is that going to happen if  I keep doing the same ole things? Have talked to D-D and as guessed she is unimpressed, it seems rightly so. I LOVE her and want us to be closer my side of the relationship is not to drink but be there for her on good and the negative days of her life.She, I believe, only wants the best for me. To free myself from the past and all that holds me back from becoming the man GOD wants of me. That is what I want for myseslf.The letting go the what is holding me back from the freedom God has for me. All that I want GOD IS READY to give to me. Why is it that I can't completely let the fuck go!!!!!!!I mis these sessions with myself Will post more tomorrow.

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